Wreck of the Day
by x Be My Muse
Summary: Sam must say goodbye to Martin. SM with some mention of SJ


Title: Wreck of the Day

Spoilers: The Bogie Man

Note: This is a one-shot songfic to the song "Wreck of the Day" by Anna Nalick. R/R and Enjoy!

* * *

It was 11:00 at night, the end of another long workday. He approached her by her desk. "Sam," he said softly. "I'm really sorry things had to end this way."

She took a deep breath before turning around to face him. "So am I," she replied.

She turned and walked away, leaving Martin standing alone.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And the light's always red in the rear-view  
Desperately close to a coffin of hope  
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

She got in her car. Her hands were trembling. She started the car and pulled out of her parking space. She didn't have to think about where she was going. She just drove.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus  
'Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I'm not falling in love  
I'm just falling to pieces  
_

She pulled into the parking lot of her favorite bar. It was a place she had frequented a lot in the old days, the days after Jack but before Martin. It was where she went whenever she felt lonely.

She strode up to the bar. "Sam, it's been a while since we've seen you 'round here," the bartender, Jimmy, said. "The usual?" She nodded her assent and slid onto a stool in front of the bar. "One absolute on the rocks," he announced, placing the drink in front of her.

_And if this is giving up then I'm giving up  
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_

She drained the glass. Someone slid onto the stool next to her. "I'll have two of whatever the lady's having," the man called to Jimmy. He passed the second of the drinks over to her. "It's on me," he said to her.

She turned to him and smiled. "The name's Sam," she said. He was good looking, tall with dark hair and blue eyes.

"Andrew," he introduced himself. He stuck his hand out. She took it, taking notice of the faint line where his wedding band should have been.

They sat and talked for almost two hours before the inevitable occurred. "It's getting kind of late," Andrew said with a glance at his watch. "Do you want to come back to my place?"

She was tempted. She was lonely and wanted to feel wanted, even if only for just one night. She stood up, ready to accept his offer. But then she glanced at his hand and remembered. He's married. All that she could think about was Jack, what things were like when she was with him. And Jack made her think about Martin.

She couldn't do this. She shook her head. "Maybe another time, Andrew."

Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love  
All my resistance will never be distance enough

She got into her car. She was sober enough to know that she shouldn't be driving, but intoxicated enough not to care.

She just wanted to get home.

_Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And it's finally quiet in my head_

She didn't know how she could let it all get so out of hand. She loved Martin the way she had once loved Jack. But once they had gotten close, she had completely shut down. She kept thinking about Jack, about how much she had loved him and about how it had ended. She didn't want to go through that pain again. And so she had backed off.

She wondered what Martin was doing right then. If he was thinking about her. If he was regretting the way things had ended. If he was missing her the way she was missing him.

She got to her apartment and climbed into bed. She was too tired to bother with undressing or turning the bed down. She curled up in the fetal position and finally let herself cry.

_Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed_

_And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up_

She hated this feeling. The feeling that everything was out of her control. She cried herself to sleep. The last thought on her mind before she succumbed to the black hole of sleep was that she would never love again. She couldn't let herself go through that pain again.

_If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up  
On love, On love_


End file.
